


Picadillo Taako

by IsleofConclusions



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 15:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14046831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsleofConclusions/pseuds/IsleofConclusions
Summary: Alright, here's the recipe everyone's been waiting for. It's time for ch'boy to share the details on how to make the taco that saved the world. Like and subscribe to my blog at the end.





	Picadillo Taako

Listen, I wasn’t always the supreme chef and master wizard you see right now. When Lup and I were small elves, we pretty much went from caravan to caravan looking for work. It wasn’t easy. Never knew where our next bite was coming from. We didn’t have magic or any kind of skills back then. Didn’t have anyone to trust but each other either.

We were smart though. We soon figured out who were the indispensable ones in a caravan and how we could become indispensable too. The horse-master? Gone if the horses weren’t doing well. The guards? Low-life expectancy. The caravan-leader themself? Fucking mutiny all over the place if they got too complacent. The cook though. A good cook was always wanted, was always needed. The caravan traveled on their stomach after all.

So Lup and I, soon as we joined a new caravan, we made an effort to cozy up with the head-cook. There was always an in with the cook what with the need for hands to dish out the slop. Lup and I went above and beyond that though. We searched out herbs and berries. We caught rabbits and whatever game there was; we fished. In return, the cook of the current caravan would teach us. And so, caravan by caravan, Lup and I became expert cooks.

That’s when we hit a little snag. Ya see, another reason the cook was influential was because the caravan had to trust that the cook wouldn’t poison everyone. It wasn’t enough to, y’know, just not poison people. The cook had to have some level of people skills. Lup had charisma shining out of her ass. Ch’boy here, not so much. 

Things were starting to get tense until one day, Taako found the solution. If the problem was people weren’t sure if I could be trusted with food, then the solution was to give out food until Taako was trusted. Here, you look hungry, have an apple. I’m trying out a new recipe and I need your opinion on it. It’s the horsemaster’s birthday? Heck yeah I’ll get started on that cake. And so I was trusted.

And so that’s how I grew to love cooking. It was a way of being indispensable. It was a way of communication. It was bonding. It was even an art as Lup and I traveled everywhere, eating things we used to only dream of. Between being the head-chefs and our own developing magic skills, Lup and I never went hungry again.

Even that frantic century of running from the Hunger didn’t change that. Lup and I were used to never truly settling, used to packing up without any hope of returning. We had our magic, we had our cooking skills. We were indispensable and our cooking created bonds.

Then, well, Faerun happened and Lup was gone.

I didn’t remember Lup for the longest time. Just knew that there was something missing. And that showed in my cooking show. Kept expecting someone to be there working on the dishes with me. Kept cooking meals for two when there was only one. Even getting Sazed as an assistant didn’t help. He kept saying the wrong lines, preparing the wrong part of the dish. Just wrong wrong wrong.

Glamour Springs was the piece-de-resistance. As far as I had remembered, all I could rely on was myself- my magic and my cooking skills. So when I transfigured those garnishes and people died, that was the end of everything. Everything that made me indispensable, everything that allowed me to really bond with others. Gone.

Things looked up of course, eventually. I became an adventurer. Met up with Magnus and Merle, joined the Bureau of Balance, etc, etc. But even then, I still wasn’t opening up to everyone. I still wasn’t cooking.

It took until the return of the Hunger for me to truly cook again. I was skeptical for all of two seconds that somehow the return of my cooking show was what was needed to save the day; there was no time to dig my heels in though. I entered the caravan and met Joaquin. He showed me how to make Picadillo Tacos. And just like that, I was not only remembering why I loved cooking, but I was forming bonds again. And naturally, it was delicious.

I’ll always remember Joaquin and the recipe he taught me. It’s not everyday that a taco saves the world after all. Here is the recipe:

Picadillo Taco

Some ground beef  
Potatoes  
Onions  
Bell peppers  
Flour tortillas

Mash. FRyyyyy. StiR. PoUUUUR.

EAT!

And now you can make Picadillo Tacos the Taako way. Remember to buy Taako’s book of recipes at your nearest bookstore. Eat and enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. It's been a while since I've written and published fanfic. Hopefully more to come.


End file.
